Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Wedding Bell Blues

This weekend I went to a friends wedding. I didn’t really want to but I have known her since she was nine years old and didn’t think I would survive much longer if I didn’t go. It is funny but I recall her telling me about two years ago that she would never get married. It was a beautiful ceremony I guess. I am not much of an expert on beauty anymore. I couldn’t help but remember when I had stood in front a preacher what seemed like a lifetime ago and said the same words to a woman I thought would be beside me forever. Things didn’t quite work out that way. “Till death do us part” became “till I find someone better.” She did. I didn’t. Life is funny like that. She spent the whole marriage suspecting me of cheating. I didn’t. She did. While I am happy for my friend who strapped on the old ball and chain, I couldn’t help but feel that I had lost something. Somehow I had lost the ability to enjoy her happiness. I hope she never had to taste the bitter things I did. No one should ever have to. I wish her great happiness in her new life. I left the wedding as quickly as I could. Remembering the bright-eyed nine-year-old I had met when I was 18. I hope that her future keeps her eyes bright and she knows only happiness. I think she will. It is too late for myself.

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