Arrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Monday last week a I was sitting at a redlight minding my own business. I was driving my bright red Chevy Suburban and pulling a 30 foot flatbed trailer when a kid with his head stuck up his butt plowed into the trailer. (Ouch my poor back just what it needed was more trauma) This thing pulled straight as an arrow at 80 mph before the wreck with a ton of weight on it. Now I cant get up to 55 with a small car on it without the trailer trying to pass me on the left.

The insurance company sent an adjuster out this morning and he said, " it cant be bent unless the welds are broken, and the welds are fine."

It took all my self control to not beat the guy with my cane. I asked him if he actually meant you couldnt bend a piece of steel without breaking a weld. He again said yes. Well after a good amount of yelling and nearly bending the adjuster - without breaking his welds - he admitted that it could be bent.

So now I have to find a place that repairs trailers to take a look at it.

Why couldnt the guy just look where was going?

The doc has me on muscle relaxers and I cant stand for a long period of time. Great fun.

Remote controlled

The newest member of my family is a huge dog. Abby is a Great Pyrenees, otherwise known as a stomach on legs. And a hardheaded one too. I have never had a dog I couldn’t train to come when it was called, and other simple things, but Abby was not learning. So I bought a remote control. Well actually a shock collar. After three days I have well behaved a dog in my house. No more chewing on shoes, jumping on furniture, running off through the neighbors yard, or other bad behaviors. All it takes is a simple push of a button and she is on the straight and narrow path.

It got me wondering - why cant we get a remote control for people. Since most people ignore their conscience and common sense wouldn’t it be nice to have a means of directing them into better behavior. Call it an idiot button. Driving 40 mph in the fast lane - buzz. Thirty seven items in the express lane - buzz. Parking in four parking spots - buzz. Fighting over the last Harry Potter book - buzz. Yelling at your kids in public instead of making them behave at home first -buzz. Yelling on a cell phone in a restaurant - buzz.

Imagine the joy and stress relief of having a magic button that would irradiate irritation. The ease of life without stupid behavior. It would be grand to be able to fix the idiots of the world - or at least watch their hair stand up on end.