Monday, July 23, 2007

Remote controlled

The newest member of my family is a huge dog. Abby is a Great Pyrenees, otherwise known as a stomach on legs. And a hardheaded one too. I have never had a dog I couldn’t train to come when it was called, and other simple things, but Abby was not learning. So I bought a remote control. Well actually a shock collar. After three days I have well behaved a dog in my house. No more chewing on shoes, jumping on furniture, running off through the neighbors yard, or other bad behaviors. All it takes is a simple push of a button and she is on the straight and narrow path.

It got me wondering - why cant we get a remote control for people. Since most people ignore their conscience and common sense wouldn’t it be nice to have a means of directing them into better behavior. Call it an idiot button. Driving 40 mph in the fast lane - buzz. Thirty seven items in the express lane - buzz. Parking in four parking spots - buzz. Fighting over the last Harry Potter book - buzz. Yelling at your kids in public instead of making them behave at home first -buzz. Yelling on a cell phone in a restaurant - buzz.

Imagine the joy and stress relief of having a magic button that would irradiate irritation. The ease of life without stupid behavior. It would be grand to be able to fix the idiots of the world - or at least watch their hair stand up on end.


Becca said...

Hey, I'm likin this idea! I can think of a few people I would like to use it on... >:)

wwhijr said...

might be too tempting to abuse on certain people.

John M. Keeter said...

Where can i order one?

Hey if this is your e-mail still, lemme know....I'm gonna be your way Thursday & Friday -maybe we can have lunch.
Tonight I accidentally found a tape I thought lost........"Last Week End as a free man blues" By Bill "King fish" White & John "Blind Lemon" Keeter from 1994!

c2much said...

Where's you go man? need a little fedora fix!