Friday, February 01, 2008
It used to be that a midnight snack consisted of crawling out of bed, staggering to the kitchen, stuffing my face, and then staggering back to bed and slipping into a coma. Those were the good old days. Now it is a bit more involved.
Now I sit up, check for animals that will be harmed if I step on them, and then try to get out of bed without waking up Steph. Next I run the gauntlet of furry beasts sleeping in various parts of the floor. The worst is the big dog, the Great Pyrenees, there is no telling where she will be laying. Sometimes she is in the bedroom floor, sometimes in the hall, some times in the living room, sometimes upside down in front of the front door, and sometimes she materializes from the paneling - although she snores so I can usually get a general direction.
Turning on the lights is also a must. There are times when the little dog leaves little presents in the middle of the floor. Nothing like stepping in a warm pile in the dark. But that is another story entirely. Lights are also good to see miscellaneous dog toys in the path to the fridge. You only step on a rubber ball and fall on a big soup bone once before you want to see where you are.
After all the hurdles are cleared there comes the fearful time when I actually open the fridge. This is usually followed by the cacophony of furry feet in a wild stampede. The second the magnetic bond on the door is broken there are three bodies sitting at my feet and three tongues drooling on the floor ( and one rat running up and down the sides of her cage) wondering what gastrointestinal delight will be brought forth to appease their discerning palates. In other words what kinda grub am I gonna toss on the floor for them.
After I make a selection of the leftovers lurking in the icebox, I have to pay toll or run the risk of not getting out alive. Between the two dogs, cat, and the rat it is amazing that I get anything at all. So the dogs and the cat get a couple of pieces of whatever and the rat get a little nibble and I make my way back to the bedroom shutting off lights as I go. Finally, I get back to the bed, push Steph back to her side of the bed, and lay back down.
Only problem is now I am wide awake again, and hungry. Wonder if the dogs left anything.